CALL FOR HUMOR SUBMISSIONS!

(Keywords: anecdotes, call for submissions, funny stories, humor, LDS, publishing opportunity, writer's guidelines, payment, prize, cash, Mormon Mishaps and Mischief, contest, )

$50 CASH PAYMENT FOR THE TOP STORY!

The LDS Humor Committee (co-chaired by Nichole Giles and Cindy Beck) is actively seeking humorous, true, first-hand, (meaning you actually saw or experienced what you're writing about) anecdotal stories of Latter-day Saint goofs and gaffs for inclusion in their Humor books.

Whether your story takes place at church—from the pulpit, a classroom or at any ol' Mormon meeting (face it, we have plenty of meetings from which to garner bloopers)—or at home during FHE, family prayer or other LDS moments, we welcome them all.

Published and unpublished authors alike are invited to submit!

The first place story, as chosen by the LDS Humor Committee, will be awarded a cash payment of $50 upon publication! Everyone else whose story is accepted gets the warm, fuzzy feeling of spreading a little laughter and the chance for PR, by having their name and website listed in the book.

Selections for the book will be made by committee. Because of that, it won't do any good to call Cindy or Nichole—or to bang on their doors—begging them to accept one more story. (Although we have heard whispers that some on the committee might consider an ice cream or chocolate bribe.)


Guidelines

Submissions must be true events that you have either seen or experienced yourself, unpublished, humorous, narrative nonfiction anecdotes that read like fiction and that involve Latter-day Saints. (See samples at bottom of page.)

SUBMISSION CRITERIA—stories must meet the following specifications:

• humorous (or at the very least, cute)
• original
• in English (although stories may take place in non-English speaking countries and we welcome international submissions)
• previously unpublished (the story, not the author. We accept stories from published and unpublished authors alike)
  
• typed, double-spaced
  
• titled
• Written in 3rd person ("he," "she," or "they" instead of "I")
• Names of people involved in the story should be changed to protect the innocent ... and the guilty. :o)
  
• No more than 170 words.
  

Stories must be UNPUBLISHED. Stories that have been previously published in books, magazines, e-zines, websites, blogs or other forms of publication will NOT be considered. We welcome submissions from both published and unpublished authors.

We will accept a limited number of 1st person stories, but prefer 3rd person.

Submissions may not contain the real names of the individuals involved (we don't want to get sued because Sister BlubberPuss and Brother ToeJams saw their name in print). In addition, please don't give ward or stake names.

HOW TO SEND YOUR SUBMISSION:

• Copy and paste the submission into the body of an email—do NOT attach as a file—and email it to LDSHumor(at)yahoo(dot)com.
  
• In the subject box of your email, include your last name, the title of your submission, and the words, "LDS Humor Project 2."
• Include your full name, mailing address, email address, phone number, website and/or blogsite address in the body of the email.
• One submission per email, but feel free to submit as many stories as you like. In fact, we encourage this!
  

DEADLINE:

• None at present, but send your story in while it's fresh in your mind.
  
• Deadline will be updated later.

(A big THANK YOU to all who submitted to the first book, Mormon Mishaps and Mischief! Your stories were great!)



Sample Anecdotes

Big News
© Nichole Giles

In a crowded Relief Society room, a middle-aged wife—whose children were all teenagers—leaned over to her husband, her face intent as she said, "Honey, I forgot to tell you, I'm going to have a baby—"

As she said this, a sister from the ward tapped her on the shoulder. The wife turned to talk to the sister, and didn't notice the shocked look on her husband's face at the big news she had so casually dropped.

After finishing her conversation, she turned back to her husband, never noticing his now green pallor and sweating forehead, and picked up where she left off. "I was saying I'm going to have a baby shower for my niece next Saturday. Why don't you go fishing?"


Where are My Glasses?
© Cindy Beck

The bishop stood at the pulpit, a pair of spectacles perched atop his head. Another pair of glasses—feminine-looking ones that were at odds with his lean physique and farmer’s tan—sat on his nose. He held his notes close, and then moved them far away, trying to focus. Finally he said, “I can’t see a thing. These are my wife’s glasses—I can’t find mine.”

And the congregation responded in unison, “Bishop, they’re on your head.”


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